Claiming Quiet Power
I’ve been under the assumption that in order to make a difference in the world or have a successful business I must step into a “leadership” role. This doesn’t come naturally for me and honestly, scares the crap outta me. I’m not comfortable claiming power as a leader. My leadership endeavors in the past took me to dark parts of myself. I became unconscious of others feelings and barked orders. I’ve felt the stress of competing in a masculine dominated environment and it brought out the worst in me. It’s not a part of myself I’m proud of and although I accept that she’s there I have no desire to empower her. I’m not, nor do I want to be, comfortable with the word ‘Bitch’, no matter how glorified the term might have become!
That’s not my essence nor do I want it to be. I’m not built for that world. I’ve tried for years to fit into it and I’m finally at a point where I’m realizing it’s not a bad thing that I don’t belong there. It’s not me that’s screwed up, it’s the system. There’s no compassion in it. I had to harden myself to work there and it never felt right. Others along the way saw that I didn’t belong there. They tried to tell me but I took it to mean I just wasn’t strong enough and I had to show them otherwise. Had to prove how strong and tough I really was. But I’m not. And that’s not a bad thing. That tough bitchy side of me doesn’t bring me happiness. It’s not where my true power lies.
I don’t believe it’s where anyone’s true power lies. True power lives in a balance of the masculine and feminine, strength tempered with compassion. We need more feminine examples of power and leadership. Our world is desperate for it. However, I don’t feel like a natural leader. I feel like a healer. My strength is compassion. My ability is to hold space for you, without judgment, to hold love for you, without condition, to hold, discover and mirror your beauty for you. I see into your essence, I see your magic. This is my superpower.
I’m not the powerful woman who shines on stage and leads masses. Someone once told me, my vulnerability is my strength. Every year that sinks a little deeper into my bones as truth. I’m not going to change the world by stepping out into the spotlight to speak and lead on a grand scale. I so admire the many phenomenal women who do but, that’s not my gift. I’m changing the world one heart at a time. And that’s pretty darned good.
So, Who Am I?
I’m a healer –
I squirrel away in my hut, on the outskirts. Those needing healing come to me and work with me directly (or in small groups, or virtually).
I am an introvert and an HSP –
I’m quiet but powerful with love and the magic of faith.
I’m also a connector –
I see connections and patterns where others may not. I have the ability to see the bigger picture.
I’m a potentialist – 😉
I see potential, dormant seeds just needing a little water to wake-up/revive, sprout and grow. I see beauty & magic where others miss it. I see them hidden in the mundane.
I’m also a rebel –
I refuse to accept the status quo, the popular view, the “There’s only one right way” – to do or see or be.
I’m a MacGyver ( A.K.A. Tinkerbell ) –
I search out new ways of solving problems. I take existing things and add to them, turn them on their head and change them into something new.
I’m an artist –
I come alive expressing myself through many and any creative form.
It’s hard seeing your own gifts and superpowers in a world that wants to fit everyone in a box, with a label and only the lucky few get to be chosen as worthy and admirable. It’s what I’ve struggled with my whole life. But, I’m getting there. I’m living in the direction of acceptance, honoring and loving all that’s uniquely me. My woundings, my struggles, and healing processes are what I teach with and through.
Will I be able to change the world? Definitely not alone but I’m part of an amazing team who’s making a difference. Maybe you’re part of it or maybe you will be. 😉
Will I have a “successful” business? I think I can. What I know for sure is, I’ll no longer try to be what I’m not for the sake of “success”. It might take a little longer to reach my soul clients. I’m willing to keep plodding ahead in hopes that they’ll recognize my heart when they finally see me. I’ll keep the faith that my tribe will arrive and we’ll do great things together.
Much Joy and Magic to You,