Judgement & Acceptance of Self
Accepting others for who they are and where ‘they’re at’ at this point in their lives, can help you in your struggle for self-acceptance. It’s been said, that the thing we hate most in someone else, is what we see of ourselves in them. It’s true that others often serve as mirrors for our own psyche.
We all have many aspects of self. Some you might judge as ‘good’ and easily embrace, while others you may view as ‘bad’. The parts of your psyche you perceive as ‘bad’, ‘dark’ or even evil, reside in, what many have coined, the ‘Shadow Self’. As implied, the ‘shadow self’ is harder to see. Part of this is because you really don’t want to and part is because this side of yourselves knows to stay hidden and work behind the scenes with minimal detection. She knows you struggle to accept her and would prefer if she weren’t around. Few of us can acknowledge she’s a necessary ally for our survival. She serves a purpose. But until you can embrace her and work with her in the light, she’ll slither in the shadows playing the snake you cast her as.
By trusting that others are evolving at the right pace for them and that they’re beautiful and perfect, where they’re at, it becomes easier for you to deeply integrate all aspects of yourselves with love and acceptance. When you embrace your shadow and learn to work with her in love, focussing that energy in a positive way, she’ll serve you and the world well. She is the Kali, Goddess of Destruction. She’s the green one, with envy in her heart. She’s the siren, calling sailors to their death, the sorceress, manipulating the elements and people to her will and she is so much more. But she has a power that can be harnessed for good in us. She is strong, loyal and protective.
You don’t want to tame or break her. You just want to reign her in, help her to feel accepted, loved, and valued as part of your ‘selfdom team’. You want to focus her energy into good works.
Judgement & Acceptance of Others
Why do we judge others? It’s easy to forget that everyone’s ‘reality’, that is, life experience, learned views, DNA encoding, and nature etc., is different from ours. You may be older, wiser, smarter and/or quicker but you’ve still only experienced this life from one very small perspective…your own. We think we know what we know and that right is, well, right. But life is so much more complicated and layered than that. We really know very little about very little. Unfortunately, many highly educated people develop an oversized ego to match. They grow intolerant of those who have different views or the inability to compete intellectually. But we’re all susceptible to believing that what we know and how we live is the right way and everyone else is wrong.
I think sometimes, for our own sanity, we have to hold onto some definite beliefs, even if only for ourselves and our own life. We wouldn’t be able to make decisions or accomplish anything if we didn’t have some inkling that what we’re doing is right. Our mistake is when we think our answer is ‘the answer’. In truth, who am I to make a judgment on where you are, what your life is like, what you’ve done in the name of; love, survival, war, happiness……. I don’t have the knowledge of the big picture of life. I have theories but I can’t know with 100% accuracy.
It’s not easy, heck, I don’t even know if it’s possible, to live without judgment. I think it’s human nature. It definitely serves in our survival and evolution. I believe our indulgence of it is where we can take more control. You may make a snap judgment about somebody in a moment but you can quickly nip it in the bud if you’re conscious of it. You can remind yourself of the fact that you really don’t know them, or the purpose their life serves.
Please understand, I’m not telling you to never make a judgment about anything. It’s constantly necessary for us to assess and judge situations and people in our lives. If your intuition is telling you a situation or person isn’t safe, listen to it. That’s a truly useful survival tactic. If you meet someone who lights you up whenever you’re around them, trust that they’re good people, just don’t make a different decision because you found out they don’t hold all the same beliefs as you. Accept their differences and let them enrich your life. Judge if someone is good or bad for your life, just don’t Judge their personhood.
Judgement & Acceptance of Life & Situations
Einstien believed that the most important decision we make in life is whether the Universe is friend or foe. I completely agree. It can change everything.
Is life for or against you? Is the rain going to ruin your day? Optimistic acceptance of what is, can open up a world of beautiful possibilities! Rather than judging a day or situation as being good or bad, decide for yourself. Accept what is and choose your response. Keep your eyes open for what’s not immediately obvious or present. Find the magic hiding in what appears to be a disappointment.
Expand Your Life
Life can be very small and limited for a judgemental person, whether that entails judging themselves others or life itself. Acceptance creates a life that’s expansive and limitless. I want a life that embraces connection and magic, not one that leads to separation and isolation. I wish this for you as well. Try to judge less and accept more while trusting your intuition. See where this leads you. Share your discoveries with me. I love hearing from you.
Big Love & Magic,
P.S. My mother taught me, by example, not to be overly judgemental of others. Thank you, Mom. XO 🙂